Saturday, 2 January 2010

Of Neil, Norah and frozen beasties that go bump in the night.




So it was that Neil arrived, as promised (?!) on Christmas eve.
As usual, he came at dishing up time, although there was never any doubt that he would "graze" whilst at Chez Moi. (He has been known to consume items as varied as a frozen chip and a wax ear plug.)
He came bearing gifts...two frozen rabbits and two frozen pheasants.
(Brrrrr...an involuntary shiver from me was of course suppressed, not wanting to hurt his feelings. Anyway, I think the carnivores will devour them but they will have to cook them too!)
Sitting at dinner, he explained in great detail how he had bought a new lamp so that he could assist his friend, Percy the Poacher (a pseudonym you understand) in catching the poor unfortunate animals at the dead of night.
His job , it seemed, was to shine the light into their eyes , thus transfixing them so that Percy could dispatch them.
I made the mistake of suggesting that the wee animals that were now at rest in my freezer were in fact illegally acquired at which point Neil, who never takes offence at anything, indignantly insisted that he had bought them fair and square from Sileby Market and made me study the price list he produced to verify this.
I was duly humbled.
He did provide some entertainment, telling me of his attempts at a roast dinner (pheasant of course) for Norah from the chip shop. (Neil, for readers who are unaware, is mentally challenged and has only just begun to live alone , with carers keeping an eye on him so this is a superb achievement.)
I quizzed him, asking if Norah was his girlfriend.
This he vehemently denied, saying that she was "an old lady"
Now, he is 28.
I hope to God I dont fall into that category just yet!

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