Piggy Wellies

Check out this sooo cool pig.

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-GB&brand=&vid=8b6cc151-fea0-48c9-a98e-0258f4320bc3

A natury bit

Many birds have taken a liking to the fat and seed chunks that have been put out on the washing line.I have to suffer their dirty, greasy little feet sitting on the washing but nevertheless.....one regular visitor to the garden is a Juvenile Great Spotted Woodpecker and I managed to get some snaps through the kitchen window .Not too clear but you can see it.

Take a look.

The honey sandwich...epilogue

Alpha male apologised and the apology was accepted but it didnt prevent another pointless argument from occuring the next day!!!!
Enough of family trivia for now.

The honey sandwich

I will try to leave out the expletives but I cant promise.
What is it about men?
Single minded attention to detail is one thing but stupid nit picking pathetic comments are quite another.
The story goes......
(Scene:- The kitchen where alpha male has just cleared up ready to prepare the tea.Alpha female is making a honey sandwich just prior to Pilates because if she eats a meal she almost throws up when doing the down ward facing dog.)
Alpha male: " Are you going to clear up?"
Alpha female: "What do you mean?"
Alpha male:" Are you going to clear up? I have to prepare tea."
(At this point there is precisely one tub of margarine, one knife , two slices of bread and one jar of honey out AND, alpha female is only halfway through making the sandwich.)
Alpha female:" I havent finished yet and anyway Ive only got a tub of marg out"
Alpha male: "What about the honey? Are you going to put it away?"
Alpha female :(Getting a little riled)"I havent finished yet! What ARE you on about?!"
Alpha male;" Dont argue with me!"
Alpha female :(Who at this point is rapidly evolving into that woman out of Species who kills all the men) "Dont be ridiculous!" (Yelling now)
Alpha male :(Also yelling now and neither of them has noticed the open skylight through which evil Bob can be heard gently mowing his lawn.Not that it would have mattered as far as Alpha female is concerned)
"Dont argue with me!!"
Alpha female: " OH SHUT UP YOU STUPID MAN!!!"
(at which point Alpha male leaves the room, perhaps sensing that the knife Alpha female is wielding may soon be put to a more inventive use.)

Post script
Neither Alpha female or Alpha male have won this totally pointless and fatuous argument because Alpha female " clears up" as she always intended to and is then so rattled by the whole sorry saga that she loses her appetite and the inclination to go to Pilates (Helen isnt going either).
The scene now is thus...Alpha female is not speaking to Alpha male, certainly will not eat the tea he has cooked out of principle and intends to polish off a bottle of wine before making herself a fried egg sandwich.
Happy f*****g families!!!

Salsa

Well after the excesses of the pudding club I had to do something more than Pilates on Wednesday. (Scottish Bobby is going on Tuesday now.....I think I must have upset him.)

So, I was persuaded to attend Salsa classes, Ealing Broadway on Tuesdays.

I was very apprehensive but need not have been. Everyone was really friendly and there were actually more men than women! The women moved on every minute to a different partner and I managed to move completely round the room 4 times in one hour.

No one complained and everyone was smiley smiley but Im sure I stepped on more than a few toes.

I sweated buckets.

Yes, I know ladies are not supposed to sweat .

I never said I was a lady and anyway, it was BUCKETS!

The only slight embarrassment for me was that I go the colour of Tomato Salsa within minutes of moving around.

I even tried wearing green makeup the second week but I just looked like Mortitia Addams.

Third time lucky this week.

Oh all right, its not really me in the picture but its close!

The Pudding club

My ever so generous cousin bought me the birthday present of a visit to the famous Pudding Club.She had already decided that neither of us would be in a fit state to drive home and so we stayed the night.Three ways House Hotel in Mickleton in the Cotswolds is the home of the club and we arrived for the munch along with at least 70 other fat and unashamed personages.

We were warned not to eat too much of the meal as ...no less than....7 puddings were to follow.All of the steamed variety.Well, one was a rhubarb crumble but you get the picture.
They were accompanied by custard, toffee sauce or chocolate sauce.
We were on a table with complete strangers but not for long.We all had to pull together you see , or we would receive collective punishments if puddings went uneaten.Suffice to say, we all rose, or nearly threw up in some cases, to the occasion and yours truly managed 8 puddings!

Pretend the image is pudding not pizza!

We met some really friendly people , one of whom told us his complete medical history which featured the removal of his colon.
God alone knows how he managed to eat what he did.
Where theres a will.....
It was a superb couple of days and Sticky Toffee and Date pudding won the contest. Yehhhh!
Roll on next year.

It has to be....SCOTLAND!

My first update has just got to be Bonnie Scotland.

An amazing time was had with wonderful scenery, weather,and a midge free environment.

Glasgow was our first night stop where we were amply fed at a local travel lodge.

Much to my companions howls of sarcastic glee, I shall say that the waitress, Magda, a lovely student from Poland, gave me her one and only personal plastic spoon to enable me to partake of a yoghourt whilst on the road. It was particularly poignant as the aforesaid spoon had been aquired by Magda whilst at the pictures with her boyfriend, thus being of great sentimental value to her.

I was touched.

Glencoe on the way up. Glenfinnan monument on Loch Shiel.

Rock cottage far surpassed all our expectations.On a private estate (none of your hoi polloi)

with the most incredible views day after day.Each morning showed the view in a different light.

Rock cottage and views The Loch Moidart at the end of our driveway.

Stunning.

All of it.

The cottage had some little quirks like the Aga in the kitchen permanently switched on and churning out heat to such an extent that an air conditioning unit was necessary in the kitchen! Nevertheless, some good tucker was produced and consumed in that kitchen.

And the wildlife.......right outside the conservatory...everyday birds and animals with the highlight being a pinemartin. Pics and more ramblings to follow.

Take a break from Scottieland for now.

Back again after way too long.....

Back from the wilds, photos to follow, just popping in to say...watch this space more updates later.
See you all soon, och.